After Dave attempted to cancel Christmas following last week’s show, the boys decided it would be best if everyone took a nice break over the Holidays and recharged their batteries. So as a result, we won’t be having a show this week, but will return on January 5th to ring in the New Year! In celebration of this event, we’ll be sharing our New Year’s resolutions with all of you, so that you can keep us in check and make sure we stay committed!

We’ll also have the usual doses of mail, ENews, and Headlines, along with whatever else we can come up with.

2009 is going to be a HUGE year for The Dave and Steve Show, and we have lots of surprises in store. So if you’ve got friends or family who you think would enjoy the show, let them know that we’re just getting started and now is the time to hop on The Pile. The show will only continue to be a success if you all spread the word, so please let people know about our fine show.

See you in 2009 and until then…

ARGAR LARGAR, BITCHES!

The boys braved the roads during the great snowpocalypse in the Pacific Northwest and made their way to a far off cabin to record the very first Christmas show and exchange unique gifts.

• Dave checks the show’s PO Box and finds 3 letters delivered to us by mistake
• Steve delivers a special reading of The Night before Christmas
• The guys have a special interview with “Sprinkles” the Elf live from the North Pole
• The boys exchange gifts and Justin and Tracy ruin Christmas for Dave
• In disgust Dave cancels Christmas for his own  family and spits holiday venom for the rest of the show.

 
Episode #45 – The Ruined Christmas Show

No, we have no idea what the title means either. It’s in some other language like Canadian or something. In any case, watch the video and be amazed…

That’s probably the smartest piece of foam I have ever seen in my life.

In fact, she may in fact be the funniest woman on the planet.

DWAYNE!

Here at The Dave and Steve Show, we wanted to take a moment to remind you that it is cold and flu season. Make sure you dress warm, drink lots of fluids, and try to remain indoors when possible. If not, you might just wind up sounding like poor Mr. Danzig.

Thank you and be safe!

As a note to all concerned listeners, J the Producer is fine. It was actually a power outage that struck his home and not a large aircraft. He’ll be back in time for the gift exchange.

The show kicks off with Dave playing the latest audio drops from the last show, including some very revealing quotes from Tracy.

Layoffs hit Steve’s place of business, but he’s safe… for now. To take the stress off, he beat the hell out of his drums at the big Holiday Party that his band played at.

Tracy is sick and tired and tired of being sick and sick of being tired. He also hated watching how clever “Juno” was, and has no problem explaining why.

Dave finally watched “The Dark Knight,” and didn’t hate it as much as Steve assumed he would. He also watched a James Bond movie in an overly-fancy movie theater, and got a year-old Christmas card in the mail from Steve’s family.

The mailbag is jammed full, with letters from Mike, Amber, and a gentleman by the name of Uncle Pullfinger, who the guys are hoping to have on the show as a guest down the road. The biggest bomb to come out of the mailbag has to do with Tracy’s process for relieving himself.

The Earth Stood Still, but apparently didn’t really want to see Keanu Reeves that day. Four Christmases took it’s rightful spot at number 2, and Sparkly Vampires sucked at number 3.

Steve also lets us know that C.C. Deville was given the dubious honor of worst guitar solo, the guy who paid $240K for Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber is in for a rude surprise, Ozzy’s wife threw down on a girl from her show, and the singer of AC/DC gets a hospital therapy room named after him.

Tracy does his best to work past his nasty cold and bring us the news headlines. An angry old man lives up to his reputation at a rap concert, a woman is married to the Berlin Wall, fox pee gets people off of your lawn, and young people send out far too many naked pictures of themselves.

The guys finish off the show by talking about the best and worst Christmas gifts they ever received. Lumps of coal ain’t got nothing on what these guys have received as gifts.

So as you decorate your home for the upcoming Holiday week, do it while listening to the show. You’ll be glad you did!

Episode #44 – The Bad Gift Show

Tonight we’ll be talking presents and gearing up for the first ever Dave and Steve Show gift exchange that will take place next week!

The guys will talk about the bitter cold that is gripping their neck of the woods, and how they’ve all had to snuggle together to stay warm. Tracy claimed that getting naked before doing so helped, but so far it’s just led to a great deal of chaffing.

Dave will bring the letters from the Pile in another exciting mailbag, Steve has eNews coming out his ears, and Tracy will probably share at least one penis story with everyone.

The guys will then finish the show off by talking about the best and worst Christmas gifts they’ve ever received, including ones that made them feel like the little girl in the family photo below.

So grab some eggnog and stoke the coals, because this is one Holiday treat you certainly don’t want to miss!

Dave said Steve’s mom gave one of these to Roger Clyne. What a thoughtful idea!

Stick with me on this one folks, it takes a minute to set up.

So a relative of mine and I were chatting about 80s hair metal, which we both happen to love. She mentioned Lita Ford’s song, “Shot of Poison,” which I had never heard before. So I went to YouTube and looked it up. I found the standard MTV video from back in the day, but also found the video posted below, which is the video intertwined with an interview with Lita back in her prime.

Why am I telling you all of this? Well because I wanted to share my favorite comment posted by someone who viewed the above video:

“Oh my god! She’s sexy and hot! Lita Ford is also beautiful! It’s like living in a fantasy world in heaven! Where you can ride on a fantasy coaster ride!”

This inspired me a great deal, so I thought I would leave a comment of my own about the Dave and Steve Show:

“Oh my god! This show is amazing and good! The Dave and Steve Show is also great! It’s like living at the McDonald’s Playland in the Playboy Mansion! Where you can float on a river of awesomeness!”

Oh yeah… it’s that good.

In these troubling economic times, it’s good to have a song to lift your spirits.

I spend many nights touching my very own body and think it’s a very natural and healthy thing, no matter what you say, Mom.

Grab your lampshade and your cocktail, because it’s office party time!

J is out at a “special” camp this week, but Steve, Dave and Tracy are all in the house and ready to spread some Holiday cheer! The three guys all attended a Birthday party over the weekend, shared some delicious cake, and let their kids play together with the lead-based paint toys from The Dollar Store.

Dave spent two months making a picture to hang on his Son’s wall, only to have it knocked off and bent within the first 48 hours of it being hung.

Oh and make sure you pronounce “Duvall” the right way, because people care.

Amber has written in again (twice), and this time she questions Dave’s sexual preferences.

Steve’s got lots to talk about from the Entertainment News Desk this week, including A-Rod giving the rod to Madge, Joe versus the Coldplay, Jay in primetime, and everyone’s favorite box office report.

In the world of news, Tracy informs us that you should call in gay this Wednesday. He also brings us stories of last-minute Lotto wins, nagging wives, BBQ Sausage, and assault with a deadly… cheeseburger.

Not only that, but Tracy has a very special treat in the form of a rather odd “Speed Racer” episode he recorded the other night. As Dave mentioned, they really don’t make em’ like that anymore.

The guys finish off the show with stories of their most uncomfortable moments at parties. We’ve got flying Taboo buzzers, people biting people, guns being drawn, necks getting stomped on, and pee… lots and lots of pee. If you listen to one segment of the show, make sure it’s Tracy’s fun little story.

We’re throwing a party and you’re all invited to come! So tune in, strap the lamp shade on and have some fun. Just don’t get too drunk that you don’t remember what you did tomorrow morning.

Episode #43 – The First Birthday Show

Steve left Dave a voicemail tonight saying he was up all last night with the runny poops and wanted to know if the show could be delayed until Tuesday. We’re never one to stand in the way of runny poop, so we’ll hit you guys with something tomorrow.

If you do decide to tune in, we’ve got a packed mailbag, ENews, Headlines, and tales from the Birthday Party that was attended by Dave, Steve and Tracy! Not only that, but since we’re knee deep in Holiday office parties, we’ll be sharing our own most uncomfortable moments at social gatherings.

So while the show is delayed, we’d rather have Steve at full capacity, than have him ducking out every five minutes because he has warm gravy running down his leg.

Talk to you folks tomorrow night!

April of 2009 simply cannot get here fast enough.

There really is nothing that could make this film look any better.

Remember how we had that talk last week about you going to hell if you laughed at that video of the kid getting hit in the face with the ball? Well the same goes for this one:

You laughed, didn’t you? Of course you did. It’s like listening to Mickey Mouse talk about part of Disneyland getting closed down.

The four of us thought about sculpting something out of ice for our big Holiday celebration this year, but after seeing this, we’ve decided to pass.

A little tip for all of you who think I just posted some dumb (yet impressive) ice sculpture video: Wait until the end.

We’re all recovered from our food poisoning, or “stomach flu” as Tracy calls it, and deliver our longest show to date!

The show kicks off with the guys sharing what they did for Thanksgiving.  Steve took some time off and went to a cabin up in the woods where he discovered exactly what’s wrong with the housing market.  Tracy straightened up the bunker and spent a quiet weekend alone “enjoying himself.”  J didn’t do much of anything, but still managed to make Steve squirm as he told the guys all about it.  Dave had a HUGE turkey and hung so many Christmas lights that he blew a breaker in his house.

The show then progresses with Dave telling about his experience at the AC/DC concert this past weekend.  The story kicks off with stop and go traffic, carries on through Dave’s friend destroying his testicles on a metal post, and continues on through religious nuts, Richard Simmons, shooting feat, and inappropriate striptease acts.

The mailbag sheds some light on why the boys got so sick this past week, and also explains that when Tracy took his wife’s NKOTB poster, it forced her to get her “girls” signed instead.

After a horrible intro by Dave, Steve hits us with the box office, though he is a bit soured by which film is in first place.  He then goes on to share that Robert Downey got knocked out by a wrestler on the set of Sherlock Holmes, and Axl N’ Roses made China mad.

Steve then steps all over Tracy’s musical joke that is part of his lead story, but that doesn’t stop Tracy from pressing on to tell us about gay penguins replacing eggs with rocks.  It doesn’t stop there though, as Tracy also shares a story of a serial butt flasher, as well as a student who can shut computers off with his own farts. 

The guys finish off the show talking about the most trouble they’ve ever been in.  Be prepared to look at the guys in a whole new light, once you find out just how naughty they’ve been.

They may be getting lumps of coal in their stockings this year, so make sure you tune in to find out why!

Episode #42 – The Wang Flake Show

For some reason, everyone on the show but Tracy got hit with some nasty food poisoning this past week, but we should all be able to make it for the show tonight.

We’ll check in with the guys to find out how their Thanksgiving went, including Dave sharing his experience at last night’s AC/DC concert. He’s got tales of religious nuts, runaway trains, cartoons, flashing devil horns, Hispanics squishing their nuts on metal posts, a 55 year old man doing a striptease, and thoughts of his Dad, so you don’t want to miss it!

Steve will hit us with the Entertainment News, and fill us in on who won the big Holiday Box Office weekend. Of course, with this he’ll also sprinkle in his standard dosage of wit and dry humor.

Tracy will bring the news, and he will bring it hard. You know it’s going to be a good news week when he’s having a hard time deciding if he has a spot for the gay, egg-robbing penguin story.

Finally we’ll be finishing off the show by getting a jump start on Santa’s naughty list this year, as we share the times in our lives when we’ve been in the most amount of trouble. Whether it was run-ins with the law or run-ins with our parents, we’ll share our worst moments to date.

We also plan to get back to updating the site daily with new content after our short “vacation,” so check back daily from now through the new year, and beyond!